When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
it's like heaven, but drunker
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
