I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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