I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
