His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
