In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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