In the future we'll all be gay
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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