I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
