i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize