In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
