There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
