I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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