the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
