I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
