you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
