Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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