Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
