is your mom at the bar?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
