he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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