so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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