you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
