Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
