if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
