champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
