If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
