well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
