I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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