I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
