My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
