East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
How external is "for external use only"?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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