My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
