we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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