Your dad touched me again.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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