Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
