WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
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