Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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