CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
