i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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