Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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