I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
