Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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