8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
