Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Actions speak louder than pants.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
