if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
