belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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