just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
