Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Operation Purity has been aborted
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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