i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
