I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
