Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
