Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
