Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We left the knife in your bed.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
