Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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