I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
