I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize