i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
