why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize