He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
