You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
