I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do vagina's smell?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
