Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
