Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
