we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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