you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize