Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
