this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
