Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
