no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
