Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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