my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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