yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
