you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
