Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You left your phone here
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