if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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