remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize