I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Randomize
