We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
