we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
