kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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