Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
