I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
