I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You need a sexual gate keeper
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize