Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
