You smell like stripper and shame
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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