It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
