Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
