I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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