At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize