If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
