He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
