Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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