i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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