Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
